I Have Questions

“Mrs. Elizabeth Anne. Why did God make you like that?”

A three-year old asked me this question a couple of months ago. I don’t know what “that” was, but she caught me in a vulnerable week, and I wondered the same thing.

It seems that children ask the most complicated and honest questions, usually ones that we ask ourselves, or sometimes God. The most popular question being, “why?” They have an innocent hunger to know the truth about everything and the reasoning behind it.

I have questions. But are my questions innocent curiosity and hunger for truth or are they kind of like the Israelites’ in the wilderness, asking why God brought them out of Egypt? The transition from childhood to adulthood doesn’t change your questions, but it can change the intent. Many times our questions seem like an attempt to give ourselves more authority than God. It’s as if we’re questioning Who He is as a being and His own intent in forming us.

I have asked, “Why did You make me like that?” But I didn’t want to know God’s ways, I wanted a physical change. It’s easy to want to be like your pedestal-person, that person you decide is the end-all of humanity. Ironically, we already have an end-all example of humanity, and all we have to do is emulate Him, no matter what our “that” is.

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

Really understanding this is freeing. It doesn’t matter how I’m made, what I look like, or if my body functions at 100 percent because God wants me to work in His kingdom; He is looking for my soul. And everything about me is something I can use for His glory. Trusting Him in this feat will lead me back to childlike questions, learning his ways instead of letting the enemy tie my insecurities to my ankles.

Most of the time, we talk about how weighty our own example is to children, but children can help bring us back to our senses.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 

Matthew 18:1-4

If I only avoid the pride in thanking Him for not being like that other woman (Luke 18:11), I’m doing it wrong. I need to also thank Him for making me the way that He did because the God who numbered the stars knew exactly what He was doing when He made me like this.

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